Pining for the fnords

I miss the old days, before the orbital mind control lasers, when the Illuminati had to use ordinary mind control techniques to keep the restless population from blossiming into mass transcendence and flowering out into the universe.

I remember my old high school teacher lugging that cranky old hypnosis device into the front of the room. We all laughed at the sheer insane compexity of it all... at least until the engine gathered a good head of steam and the hypnotic rays shot out and wiped our memory of the experience.

I remember the first time I read the newspaper and the dear old feelings of angst creeping over me as the insidous fnords forced my attention from important stories (immortality drugs, psionics, personal starships) to the humdrum but *comfortable* pages full of politics and advertisements.

No, these days there's no personal touch to their tyrrany. You might as well be just a number to them. And of course all these unemployed ex-illuminati wandering around the streets with their naive tin hats and pyramids just add to the feelings of alienation.

I say, bring back the old days. Bring back the evil world-government conspiracy that cares. I say down with the Orbital Mind Control Lasers.

My ex cell-mates look at me sadly, as I sit here pining for the fnords.